Twenty percent of the family population is one child, said psychologist susan newman, author of the book parenting an only child. A funny, toughminded case for being and having an only child, debunking the myths about only children and taking glory in the pleasures of singletons. May 17, 2017 the mix of young people in china offers a broad pool of candidates for this area of research, owing to the nations longlasting one child policy, which limited many but not all families to only raising a single child in between 1979 and 2015. I hate the term oh you only have one as if my child is any less because she is one child. One and only book by lauren sandler official publisher. Whatever the reason, thanks to this special single book offer, you can print a book extremely affordably. The results, including climate change and the struggle for limited resources, appear to be inevitable aspects of a difficult future.
One and only examines these questions, exploring what the rise of the single child family means for our economies, our environment, and our freedom. For me, the decision to raise an only child was almost instinctive, the way i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband. Several years ago, having big families was common, but these days, more couples are now considering having only one child and some do not have any desire to become parents at all. One child is toreys first book and it was the first thing she ever submitted for publication. Tired of the comments and curious stares, im setting the record straight, right here, right now. There are perks to being an only child yay, no handmedowns but some downsides, too. Its the world of having an only, where every day someone is checking out my belly or blatantly asking me why junior doesnt have a biologically, builtintheu. It took a long time to even convince myself that having only one would be okay and was probably the right decision for us. Much of the only child mythdebunking has been done by toni falbo, a professor of educational psychology at the university of texas, who has researched only children since the 1970s. A recent cover story by time magazine indicated that 1 in 5 american families are choosing to have only one child. Going from one child to two or two to three or more is a dilemma single parents and couples wrestle with, sometimes for years. Only children dont need to be lonely children during the. In her 2011 book, the case for the only child, she writes that many women are having children later in life, and that more and more families are concerned about the cost of raising children. From around the middle of the 20th century, birth rates and average family sizes fell sharply, for a number of reasons including increasing costs of raising children and more women having their first child later in life.
Although designated a temporary measure, it remained in effect for more than 35 years. The trouble with the debate over having only one child or having two or more children is that there is no right answer, which is probably a good thing. Having just one child allows us to have the best of both worlds, being able to experience being parents but not having to forego our desire to continue to grow in our careers. Apr 10, 2017 there are perks to being an only child yay, no handmedowns but some downsides, too. Throughout history, only children were relatively uncommon. Jun 07, 20 it was only when i was working on a book investigating what it means to have, and to be, an only child that i realized how many of the writers i revere had only children themselves. Are they truly spoiled, precocious, lonely and overly sensitive. The book is a thorough and interesting exploration of the many aspects of being and having an only child. Apr 20, 2020 finding peace as a onechild family in a world full of messages of the only lonely, we can be made to feel we are somehow doing something wrong by making the decision to have an only child.
Our son is now 9 and while there have been challenges, he is also more independent than a lot of his peers. Nov 22, 2017 the only features of them you could really see were their legs and shoes which i believe were brown converse or some other high top shoes. Find out the advantages and disadvantages of having a single child. This book has been translated into 27 languages and dramatized as an interactive opera. Lauren sandlers book one and only challenges the stereotypes that there must be something wrong with a mother wanting to have just one child. A type of family that has always interested me is the one with a single child. Having only one child allows the parent to be more attuned to the emotional needs of the single child. From counseling with only child families and with only child adults, and from a lot of reading, i wrote the book the. The freedom of having an only child and the joy of being one, merges personal stories and anecdotes with uptodate statistics. In her book parenting an only child the joys and challenges of raising your one and only, she presents the opinions of a large cross section of. What being an only child says about you, according to science. In the 19th century, one psychologist described being a lone child as a disease in itself. Of course, an only child may have more than if a family had more than one child. People are having children later in life, which leaves less time to have another child.
But, having a sibling could help each other grow to be different people altogether. It was only after the story was completed that she considered publishing it. Do they need extra coddling at home and in the classroom. Jan 31, 2012 onlychild families are becoming the new traditional family, for a number of reasons, says social psychologist and author susan newman, ph. When you have one child, you can still live without systems for doing laundry and household chores, paying bills, and cooking dinner. Since socalled lonely onlies have never had to engage in classic comingofage. The only child is commonly assumed to be lonely, spoiled and incapable of forming healthy. Advantages and disadvantages of being an only child wehavekids. One child is a memoir by american author and psychologist torey hayden. Often, those who know an only child, couples on the fence about having a second child, or those who are simply judgmental tout the myths as truths. Much of this goes back to a book written by a psychologist named g. In my experience, one of the most common traits of an only child in addition to being spoiled, okay fine is a strong sense of independence and an eagerness to explore life outside of the parental threshold. I dont know why there is such a stigma behind having an only child.
Margaret peterson haddix is a prolific author of mg fiction. It took only 42 days from the time she started writing one child until she signed a contract. Whatever is behind the stereotype, only children are demographically on the rise. But with two, a laissezfaire approach can be harder to get. This book comes specially addressed to all of you, after the author susan newman, herself the mother of just one child delved deep into the trend of american couples choosing to have one child. That said, you shouldnt structure your family in such a way that makes money. Attention can be more directly focused, saving for college is easier, and its much easier to afford a smaller home. The freedom of having an only child, and the joy of being one in new york journal of books. I am an only child myself and have a son who i suspect might be an only child, and found the discussion of what that means in terms of emotional, social, and academic development to be fascinating. Jan 31, 2018 chinas one child policy was established by chinese leader deng xiaoping in 1979 to restrict communist chinas population growth and limited couples to having only one child. Working moms reveal their struggles over having a second kid. Lauren sandler interviewed a wide range of people and professionals from all over the world, looked at studies, and shared some personal experiences of having and being an only child. This book had a lot of parts that made me stare into the book. The book was about a girl who went to live with her grandmauncleaunt, she meets a boy and one of his arms are paralyzed and she ends up writing a letter to the president and finds out her uncle is her father.
Apr 20, 2015 like wearing socks with sandals or eating a taco that is made out of doritos, being an only child gets a bad rap. Soon after my column was published, i heard from social psychologist susan newman whose new book, the case for the only child offers up her own challengetheconventionalwisdom take, suggesting that for many families, having one child is not only the right decision but the better one. Print your own book single book printing one off book. According to social psychologist susan newman author of parenting an only child, these one child families are on the up because. Jun 17, 2014 the book is a thorough and interesting exploration of the many aspects of being and having an only child. Being an only child can actually change the structure of your.
The word hidden in the title has a lot to do with what occurs in the book, actually the book revolves around the word hidden. How i made peace with having only one child working mother. The freedom of having an only child, and the joy of being one is an excellent book. People are having children later, which leaves less time for having the second child. One and only, by lauren sandler the new york times. Having an only child is desirable from a wide range of viewpoints and practicalities, but that doesnt make decisions about family size any easier. Stanley hall in 1896, who argued that only children are peculiar, prone to having more imaginary friends, lonely, and selfish. Having an only child gives you a mature, diligent, and conscientious little perfectionistbut it also comes with some tough parenting moments. This is a shift in previous decades, where larger families were the trend. The freedom of having an only child, and the joy of being one, journalist lauren sandler takes on these stereotypes and sifts through a huge body of research that debunks.
Feb 15, 2018 one cant help but think of the parents of the young victims at sandy hook elementary school, who remind us six years later of the toll such violence takes. Journalist lauren sandler is an only child and the mother of one. The author goes out of her way throughout the book to make the point that not only is having an only child a valid and good choice for many families, but that having an only child is a superior choice and apparently the only choice that a thoughtful parent can make. The freedom of having an only child, and the joy of being one, journalist lauren sandler takes on these stereotypes and sifts through a. A swift and absorbing readmay change your mind and the national conversation psychology today. It was also loosely adapted as the 1994 lifetime television film untamed love, starring ashlee lauren, lois foraker and cathy lee crosby. There is a lot of wonder when it comes to being an only child. Sep 01, 1998 among the hidden was written by margaret peterson haddix, this is a fiction book. There are a multitude of reasons why families with only one child are on the increase. A compelling argument for the morality of limitations on procreation in lessening the harmful environmental effects of unchecked populationwe live in a world where a burgeoning global population has started to have a major and destructive environmental impact. Feb 23, 2019 a third complained my daughter had an academic advantage because i had only one childs homework to supervise. Among the hidden is the first book of hers i have read. We have only one child and i always just expected that i would have more than one because thats what youre supposed to do.
My husband is an only child and he is the one insistent on only having one. Through this journey, sandler has quite possibly cracked the code of happiness, demonstrating that having just one may be the way to resolve our countless struggles with adulthood in the modern age. Advantages and disadvantages of being an only child. Advantages and disadvantages of having one child bellybelly. Maybe you just want to print one proof copy of your own book to see how good our book printing is. Had one mc before and after his birth, and due to chemotherapy went into early menopause when he was three. Finding peace as a onech ild family in a world full of messages of the only lonely, we can be made to feel we are somehow doing something wrong by making the decision to have an only child. Or maybe you just want to know how good it feels to hold your very own printed book in your hands. He are also very outgoing people and that has transferred to our kiddo. Jan 28, 2010 we discuss the myths of the only child. One cant help but think of the parents of the young victims at sandy hook elementary school, who remind us six years later of the toll such violence takes.
In this fun early chapter book, 8yearold emma struggles with a series of uncomfortable changes. So, to be fair, i gave newmans book a look because the. Jun 09, 20 an only child with an only child and struggling with the same choice as fey, sandler relayed an experience familiar to me and most parents i know of only children. Why more families are happy with one why we wrote this. We only need to worry about one child s school schedules, swim lessons, soccer practices, etc. When i told my mom that i was only going to have one child, she immediately exclaimed that my daughter was going to be lonely.
The environmentalist bill mckibben and the psychologist susan newman have both written wellknown books about the advantages of having a single child that covered some of. Nov 18, 2015 more recently, lauren sandlers 20 book one and only. What you learn about being an only child once youre an. I personally believe having a sibling will make life a bit easier, but things can be perfectly fine as an only child. Mar 23, 2019 having only one child is much easier on parents. Finding a book when youve forgotten its title the new york. The story itself was written very quickly only eight days from start to finish. I just smile and try to ignore the comment especially when its from someone who only has two kids themselves like the face they allowed one extra egg to be fertalised makes them more of an parent lol. She and her mom downsize to a smaller house, she changes schools, and, most significantly, her prized only child status is challenged when her mom has to babysit a messy 4yearold for a whole week. This is something that has served me in a variety of ways ive always deeply valued and protected my alone time, even when im in. I am an only child myself and have a son who i suspect might be an only child, and found the discussion of what that means in terms of emotional, social, and academic development to. Dispatches from the evangelical youth movement, an only child and the mother of an only child, is struggling with the decision of whether to have a second baby. It was first published in the united states in 1980. Only child families are becoming the new traditional family, for a number of reasons, says social psychologist and author susan newman, ph.